Sunday, October 30, 2011

Will Your School Survive The Zombie Apocalypse? A Special Halloween Post

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Ok, I thought I would have some fun and write a Halloween themed post.  Since it appears a zombie apocalypse is inevitable, I assume you have been preparing your school for this cataclysmic event.
No, you haven't?

Well, here are a few tips to help you and your school survive a walking dead Armageddon.

Special note before I offer a few suggestions:

It is assumed that in the search for brains, schools will be prime stalking grounds for zombies.  If your school is not developing brains enough to be considered a zombie buffet, you have other issues with which to deal.

Now for a few suggestions...

  • One of the first breakdowns during the zombie apocalypse is the breakdown of civilization and basic humanity.  At this point, your school's character development and virtues program allows your school to avoid those pitfalls and work together.
  • As the world around the school erodes, leadership is needed.  In a dramatic switch from their platform to "make this year the best year ever", your student council rallies the students to work with teachers and administrators to make decisions that will decide the survival of the campus.
  • It is likely that the zombies have already knocked out the power to many schools.  Having anticipated this, you invested in alternative methods of powering your school (solar, wind, generators, etc.) and can use them to provide electricity.
  • Since you have electricity, you  use it to power your robust Internet network and hold 24-hour vigils trying to locate other survivors and/or recruit help.
  • Weaponless, you depend on speed and agility to avoid zombie capture.  Thank goodness you decided NOT to cut additional physical education from the curriculum.
  • Remember the students who are either always tardy or find ways to avoid being found when they should be in study hall, use them to guide your groups around campus.  If you can't find them under normal circumstances, it is unlikely they will be found by zombies.
  • Needing food and water, you now recognize the value of setting up your own school garden and water purification system.  Those "green" initiatives are paying off big.
  • Once you make contact with other survivors, you set up a rendezvous to meet up.  Therefore, your fleet of buses come in handy.
  • Put up a sign at all the entrances telling everyone to have a great summer break.  Zombies are probably not checking the calendar, will think no one is on campus, and stumble on towards the next town.
Thanks for visiting.  I hope you and your family have a fun and safe Halloween.
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