Strengthen Parent-Teacher Relationships by Asking These 3 Questions

Parents play a significant role in the success of a student. As a important member of the student's learning team, parents should be informed and appropriately involved in their child's school experience. However, this role takes different forms as students mature and move through different developmental stages. As a result, the nature of parent involvement also changes, which can lead to misunderstanding and an unnecessary strain on the parent/teacher relationship.

Recently, a parent of a school aged child ask me about how to establish a better partnership with his child's teacher. I suggested that the parent engage in a conversation with the teacher using the questions below as a guide.

1. How can I, as a parent, best support your work as the teacher?

2. What should I expect in terms of development from my child this year?

3. What are your expectations of my child in terms of effort?

These questions not only allow the key developmental issues to emerge as the basis of the conversation, but also recognize and respect the fact that the parent is the expert on their child and the teacher is the expert on the instruction.

This article was originally published on The Thrivapy Blog (4/16/2013)

The Wealth of Knowledge

The wealth of knowledge does not have anything to do with having A wealth of knowledge.

Why?

Because knowledge kept to oneself serves little purpose and has virtually no value to anyone other than the holder of the information. The value (wealth) of knowledge is not based on having it. Rather, the value of knowledge is found in sharing it.

Value is created when someone is willing to give something in exchange for something else. The currency can be money, goods in kind, attention, time, etc. Having knowledge does not create value, making your knowledge available so others can improve their own understanding adds to the collective wisdom and, thus, has value - especially in a world where the long tail affects practically all markets (including knowledge).

In essence, the wealth of knowledge is directly linked to the sharing of knowledge, not the storage of knowledge. This act of sharing also creates knowledge for those who were previously less informed.

For those looking to assign value to their educational experience, this logic suggests that reflecting on the opportunities to share and create knowledge may be a good place to start.

Originally published on The Thrivapy Blog on April 11, 2013.

Starting Your Class With Clarity And Purpose

In the same amount of time it takes you to read this post, you can start each class with clarity and purpose which, in return, leads to better student engagement and focus.

The formula is simple.

1. Recall what has happened.
2. Explain the current situation.
3. Provide a vision for the day.
4. Give a reminder of what is yet to come.

Recall what has happened

Talk with students about what the class did in its most recent meeting. Give a brief progress report on the topic or project the class is currently discovering. Using a map analogy, this is when you show the group where you have already been and what you have done to get where you are.

Explain the current situation

Using the same map analogy, this is where you mark your current location. In class, a statement telling students where you believe the class is, in terms relative to the topic or project at hand, provides their current location.

Provide a vision for the day

The vision for the day is articulated in positive terms and describes the ideal progress you expect given the time you have in class that day. In other words, "Here is what we can accomplish today..."

Give a reminder of what is yet to come

This final suggestion gives the students a preview and/or reminder of what remains once class ends that day. This step helps put the day's vision in perspective and keeps students focused on the long term goal as well as the daily goal. This step is also useful at the end of class.

A strong start provides the foundation for a clear and purposeful class which is a key component to student engagement.

This post was originally published at The Thrivapy Blog.

Helping Students Take Action and Develop Resilience

A goal without taking action is, essentially, a wish, a hope, or a dream. That is why setting goals without taking appropriate action is an exercise in futility. This is one of the pitfalls with helping students set goals. Once set, the process usually stalls because their is an assumption that the student, now that she has a goal, will "go for it" and find a way to achieve it. However, life is full of challenges and reasons to loose sight of your goal. As a result, students tend to be more successful with strategies in place that help them stay resilient in the face of difficulties.

I like to think of resilience as stubbornness directed at a worthwhile cause. Here are some ways to support student resilience.

Think "Why?"

When faced with the temptation to give up, remind yourself of why the goal is important. The result of this reminder will uncover one of two things. Either the goal is still a priority or it has been replaced by a higher priority. If it remains a high priority, keep going. If it has been replaced, move on.

Form a team

If you can find a group that is facing a similar challenge, you may find help by working together. When faced with accomplishing a goal for yourself, it is easier to give up than it is knowing others are also counting on you.

Smaller pieces

Difficult or unfamiliar goals can get overwhelming if you try to accomplish them in broad strokes. Break the actions into smaller and more manageable pieces. This helps you track progress, which is an important part of sticking with your goal.

Release the mantra!

No, the mantra is not some horrible monster. Your mantra is a short phrase that is easy to remember and clearly articulates your goal. For example, if your goal is to do a better job of handing in your homework on time, then you mantra may be something like "My homework; always on time." When you feel like you are moving away from your goal, repeat your mantra a few times. You may find it helps build resilience.

More than "What?" and "How?"

This is advice I often give. Knowing what and how is certainly important, but by adding "when" and "where" to your action plan has shown to increase the likelihood of you following through. Add "When?" and "Where?" to your plan to aid resilience.

A version of this post was originally published on The Thrivapy Blog on April 6, 2013. 

7 Questions For Which Every Student Should Have An Answer

Successful students know plenty, but some of what they know will never appear on a test or exam. While facts and figures are important and have their place in school, every student is not going to know everything. However, if I had to choose a few questions to which every student knew the answer, the list would include the following:

1. What is your purpose as a student?

This question speaks to the student's sense of mission. Generally, students can take two approaches to their role. One is the student as a receiver of an education. The second is a student as a producer of educated work. I advise students to reflect upon and move towards the second.

2. If all barriers to success were removed, what does an ideal school experience look like?

Another foundations* question, this asks students to craft a vision of success. An important element here is the need for specifics in the description. I have found that greater specificity leads to greater chances of success.

3. (2 part question) - What are the barriers to your ideal experience and how can you overcome them?

Of course the ideal is probably out of reach (if it wasn't out of reach, you would have gotten there by now), so facing reality and recognizing the real challenges facing your success is important. Knowing the difficulties you are about to face makes it easier to identify where you may need to work harder, who you may need to get on your team, and what type of help you may need along the way.

4. (2 part question) - What beliefs do you have about being a student and what actions are implied by those beliefs?

This question can be a difficult one to answer. It is difficult because your answer can reveal some inconsistencies in your work which would need to be addressed. For example, if one of your beliefs is that homework is an important part of getting better and getting better is an essential aspect of education, then the implied action is that you would always do your homework. For a student, this could be a difficult conclusion to manage, especially if you realize either you really do not hold that belief or you need to adjust your actions. Sometimes, neither course of action is attractive. However, the exercise of reviewing belief/action continuity can uncover some useful insights into why a student is not as satisfied or successful as they would like to be.

5. What did (will) you do to be a better student today?

I like this question better than, "What happened in school today?" One reason is that this question focuses on growth mindsets. Second, because this question is more focused, you are more likely to get a specific answer instead of "nothing" or another equally less descriptive answer.

6. What did (will) you do to help someone else be a better student today?

This is the previous question's cousin. After reflecting on your own growth, this one turns your attention to others. One of the principles of Thrivapy is relationship building and nothing helps build relationships like sharing your talents, ideas, knowledge, etc. with others. By helping others, we help ourselves. For example, I played baseball from the time I was able to walk  through college. Upon graduating, I became a high school baseball coach (which I continued to do for about 10 years). To this day, I am convinced that I was a better batter while I was coaching players and sharing what I knew than I was when I played.

7. Who are the people you can count on to support your efforts? Who is on your team?

When I played and coached baseball and football, I had a shirt with the word TEAM spelled out in all caps with the meaning "Together Everyone Achieves More" written on the back. While such messages are common in sports, the work of the student is often very much a solo act. Even with increased emphasis on collaboration, students can easily feel alone and unsupported when things begin to get a little tough.

We live in, arguably, the most connected society in the history of the world. Now, more than ever, it is easy to form a community of like-minded and talented people and tap into the collective genius of the group to help get you through difficult times. This is when knowing who is on your learning team and what they can do to help benefits students. This team can include parents, teachers, administrators, friends, other relatives, etc. Having a team in place does not, however, diminish the student's responsibility to act and make satisfactory efforts. What the team does is elevate the potential of the individual by creating a network through which knowledge is created and shared.

These are important questions and are the basis for some of the Thrivapy conversations I have with students. One of the great aspects of these questions is that with very little adjustment, they are as applicable to helping almost anyone, including teachers, find greater clarity, satisfaction, and success in their work.

* The term "foundations" is what I use to include mission, vision, beliefs, and philosophy as a single part of one's ability to find greater purpose, direction, satisfaction, and success. The foundations concept is one of the seven principles upon which Thrivapy works.

This article was originally published on The Thrivapy Blog (4/3/2013).

Helping Students With "Completion Amnesia"

"Completion amnesia" is a term I use to describe a student's insistence on having completed an assignment, but cannot recall any or all of these questions.

1. Where is the assignment?
2. When is the assignment due?
3. Why was the assignment given?

Completion amnesia reaches its peak for many students during the middle school years (grades 6-8, ages 11-13). It is often misunderstood and often (mistakenly) assumed to be a symptom of a lack of effort. This leads to frustration and confusion which, in turn, create a less than satisfactory experience for students, parents, and teachers. There are some ways, though, to minimize the effects of "completion amnesia" that anyone tasked with supporting students can use.

First, be patient. Adults, for the most part, do not struggle as much with such matters as adolescents do. Solutions that are easy for us to understand and use are not always easy for students. This can lead to a great deal of frustration when what appears to be an easy fix always seems just out of reach. Patience and knowing that the solution is easy to us because we have had much more practice can help. There are many times when I hear teachers (and parents) lament having to repeat themselves over and over again. Sure, it is frustrating, but it is also necessary sometimes if the end result is important.

Second, advise the student to slow down and do one thing at a time. Multi-tasking is not always a good thing and with the busy lives students live today, it is easy to see how an eleven year old can feel like she needs to do a lot more than you and I did each day when we were eleven. While the ability to multi-task can help get things done, it also contributes greatly to making careless mistakes. A lack of focus also prevents the student from possibly remembering important key concepts. Slowing down, taking one thing at a time, and being more deliberate in your work can help prevent carelessness and support thorough completion.

Third, add "when" and "where" to each assignment. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard students answer the question, "What do you need to do?" That is certainly important. However, two other questions have shown to help students actually follow through and get the assignment done on time and with good quality. Those questions are, "When are you going to do it?" and "Where will you do it?" If you use an assignment book or have a chart at home, add those two pieces to the equation. You may see better results from needing to answer them. Also, the more specific your answers are to these questions, the better.

Fourth, and finally, allow students to learn from their mistakes. This may be the toughest tip for some because it forces parents and teachers to face the fact that making a few mistakes along the way is where the learning takes place. It is tough because it places the learning process in front of the conversation in place of results and grades. Grades have their place, but can distract a student who is doing something new or difficult from focusing on doing better at the task at hand.

If the student has an idea about how to correct their own "completion amnesia", let them try. Give them feedback and enter into a partnership with the student to help them find what works better form them. After all, it is their work and they need to begin owning it. Ask questions. If you hear, "I don't know" too many times, then offering a specific idea is in order. The goal here is not perfection. The standard for satisfaction should be growth and effort.

"Completion amnesia" is a frustrating part of the school experience for students, parents, and teachers. Be prepared to help by considering these strategies.

This post was originally published on April 1, 2013 at The Thrivapy Blog. 

My 1st eBook, Paying Attention, Now An Amazon Best Seller

Recently, I chose to make a few changes to my first ebook, Paying Attention. I had the cover freshened up, enrolled the book in KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) Select, and changed the price from $0.99 US to a limited time promotional price of $0 - free.

Today, I checked the sales figures and found out that Paying Attention is #1 on the Top 100 free ebooks list for Kindle in the Professional Education Development category.

Thank you very much to all the readers and visitors of this site and my new blog, The Thrivapy Blog.